And that is what matters!

Is this a passing phase of my life? Even if it is not, even if it becomes a permanent phase in my life, I am only too happy. Right now, yes I am happy about this phase. And that is what matters!

I know many of these experienced, ardent lovers of serious reading may not approve of this phase. Many may think I am immature, so what? Many may think I am silly, so what? Many may think I am being childish, so what? Still I am enjoying and that is what matters!

Sorry, you must be surprised or should I use the word perplexed, I think that explains your emotion in a better manner, yes you must be perplexed about the phase in my life, which I am talking about. Hope you too won’t take it as silly, even if you take it that way I will say, I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

Now I will come to the core matter. Nowadays I prefer children’s books, I should say everything related to children’s books, the story, the narration, the characters, the scenario, the beginning, the middle, the ending and don’t know what not, to the so called heavy adult literature. Now do you think I am being insane, I will say I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

Till some days back, I too used to delve deep in to each and every word of the heavy books to find out the hard truths, the hard facts of life, the hard realities of life and to make out the meanings and if possible create my own meaning for those words. Was I hoping to find a solution for the bitter realities of human life through my interpretations of whatever I was reading? If that was so I should say that it was an unsuccessful attempt. Now you must be really thinking that I am insane. Then I will say, I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

The classical,neo classical, modern, ultra modern, what ever genre of literature I was reading till recently, I should frankly admit that, the alternate thinking strands they couldn’t provide, these what should I say, baby books or kids books has taken me to travel through those strands. Whatever is your opinion, I am enjoying it and that as what matters!

I am thoroughly enjoying Moin and the monsters, I am thoroughly enjoying Fun at Devlok, I am thoroughly enjoying Wonder, I am thoroughly enjoying the stories of Micheal  Morpugo and all the simple’ colourful, illustrated books for children. I am happy about it, I am thoroughly enjoying this phase and that is what matters!

A STITCH IN TIME ?

When I started this blog, I wanted to comment on and discuss issues related to childhood. But today I somehow feel that I should deviate from that a little bit and write about some thing that is pricking me. It is more concerned with adults or the so called “grown ups’. But no ! I think this is relevant for this blog as this issue also stems from or is concerned with proper parenting. And all the more when as a parent you are responsible to make or mar ninety percent of your child’s life whether he is a child, a boy, a teenager, a professional, a husband, a wife or a father or a mother. If the foundation itself is faulty what right we have to lament about his or her attitude, ideas and ideologies?

As parents we are all trying to “magnificently prepare” our children, prepare them, to settle them down in life with a safe career and a comfortable family. But in truth aren’t they “magnificently  unprepared” to meet the challenges of life?  I sometimes feel that we have incredibly failed to create a world, a world, where our children can live in peace and happiness. We try to make great experts or professionals of them, but fail to nurture their emotional or psychological side, with the result that he/ she spend the rest of their life not knowing how to deal with their own frustrations, fears, desires, hurts, boredom, freedom, aggression and suffering.

For instance, we want our child to be happily settled with a family. Do you know it is a tremendous task for us, as parents to prepare our children for a happy and peaceful life. The main hindrance to their happiness is our own personal ideas, our own upbringing and our own possessiveness that our child is only our child, no one else. We are not ready to provide anybody else related to them other than ourselves, with any breathing space.

We teach our child to love his parent. You expect our child to love you. Have you ever thought about his extended family relations? Parents are indispensable for a child. But why when they grow up. they are ever ready to forget the fact that it is the same- the parent child relation is the same for every individual? Why can’t they respect and accept the truth and give a space for them in their mind, in their thoughts or atleast in their outward actions- accept this fact where a friend is concerned or his own wife or her own husband.

If not at a very early age, atleast at an age when they are ready to accept and understand, why can’t we try to talk to them about these extended family ties? About why and how they should not put their family on top of the family of their companions, why and how not to put their compassion and affection towards their parents on top of your companions affection or compassion. Why and how if they are not doing it, it would distress, weaken and silently kill their companions? Why and how if they cannot feel the pangs of their companion’s heart, you feel yourself responsible for a faulty upbringing and how and why you are ready to take up the blame. THIS is the basic thought you should breed in your child, if you want your child to happily leading his or her life. emanating the light of love and happiness to those around him, giving space happily to another person. Feel for our companion’s warmth for his or her relations as you feel the warmth for your close relations.

Usually we make the greatest mistake by side-lining this to the least important category in our list. But please observe your child’s development closely and with great attention and use the best opportunity to talk to him, talk to your child at the most appropriate time. We cannot mend the mistakes made by those who brought us up if they had made any and if the have affected us, but we can take a firm decision not to tamper with our child’s attitudes by not talking to him, not making him aware of these simple facts of life. We should keep in our mind that by not sensitising your child to these issues, you are knowingly or unknowingly tampering with the personality of another human being, another family, which, you have absolutely no right to do.”A stitch in time saves nine”  a small self examination by you and a small conversation with your child will save three families- your own family, your child’s family and his companion’s family. Please do not hesitate- it is time !