And that is what matters!


Is this a passing phase of my life? Even if it is not, even if it becomes a permanent phase in my life, I am only too happy. Right now, yes I am happy about this phase. And that is what matters!

I know many of these experienced, ardent lovers of serious reading may not approve of this phase. Many may think I am immature, so what? Many may think I am silly, so what? Many may think I am being childish, so what? Still I am enjoying and that is what matters!

Sorry, you must be surprised or should I use the word perplexed, I think that explains your emotion in a better manner, yes you must be perplexed about the phase in my life, which I am talking about. Hope you too won’t take it as silly, even if you take it that way I will say, I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

Now I will come to the core matter. Nowadays I prefer children’s books, I should say everything related to children’s books, the story, the narration, the characters, the scenario, the beginning, the middle, the ending and don’t know what not, to the so called heavy adult literature. Now do you think I am being insane, I will say I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

Till some days back, I too used to delve deep in to each and every word of the heavy books to find out the hard truths, the hard facts of life, the hard realities of life and to make out the meanings and if possible create my own meaning for those words. Was I hoping to find a solution for the bitter realities of human life through my interpretations of whatever I was reading? If that was so I should say that it was an unsuccessful attempt. Now you must be really thinking that I am insane. Then I will say, I am enjoying it and that is what matters!

The classical,neo classical, modern, ultra modern, what ever genre of literature I was reading till recently, I should frankly admit that, the alternate thinking strands they couldn’t provide, these what should I say, baby books or kids books has taken me to travel through those strands. Whatever is your opinion, I am enjoying it and that as what matters!

I am thoroughly enjoying Moin and the monsters, I am thoroughly enjoying Fun at Devlok, I am thoroughly enjoying Wonder, I am thoroughly enjoying the stories of Micheal  Morpugo and all the simple’ colourful, illustrated books for children. I am happy about it, I am thoroughly enjoying this phase and that is what matters!


Set it….Don’t stop it


A man who is contended is always happy, I know. But what is the definition of being contented? Or else when is a man contented? I would say I feel contented when I am in a situation, which I really want to be in. That means, when I could be in a situation of my liking, or in a situation which I want to be in. Does it have any connection  with my ambition? I think so!
Ambition, that reminds me,do we need to teach our children not to be ambitious? If so, why? Is ambition a negative emotion? I have my own reservations about it. Of course I am not an advocate of being over ambitious. But I think being ambitious of one’s own life, career or future is not an undesirable thing. A boy or a girl has the right to be ambitious. I think as parents or teachers our responsibility is to make them aware of the boundaries of their ambitions rather than putting tight boundaries for their ambitions itself. Teach them the synonyms of satisfaction and why it is important to be satisfies with waht you achieve. How miserable they will be if they do not practise this at an early stage of their life. So I think in stead of telling your child not to be ambitious, tell them not to be insatiable in their wants and needs.Gauge them to achieve their quite natural ambitions,but guard them from the pains of insatiable desires.



The most memorable day in my teaching career was the day when I saw Amr reading a book. I was then the anchor teacher of Godavari, a mixed age group class in The School, Chennai. Amr was in fifth standard then. He was a child with dyxlexia. He couldn’t read at all. But he had a good rapport with me. Actually I had a very good rapport with all the children in my class. There were ten fron class 5 , ten from class 6 and ten from class 7. I used to read out stories for Amr while others used to read for themselves. I used to make him enact the incidents in the story to make sure that he understood it clearly. We both used to play spelling games to give him confidence in his spelling abilities. Everyday I used to sit with him for half an hour while I assigned work for the others.

Once he finished a paragraph we both looked at each other and found that we both were crying.
Only thing we could do at that moment was to hug each other tightly.

After about four months, once while I was reading, he asked me to give the book to him. First he went through the pictures. Then he asked me whether he could try reading it. Then suddenly he started reading the book slowly, letter after letter, word after word. I just watched him without making even a small sound. Once he finished a paragraph we both looked at each other and found that we both were crying. Only thing we could do at that moment was to hug each other tightly.

I am sure no words can express what I really felt at that moment.

Even now, after three years, when I get birthday wishes from most of my children in Godavari, I feel confident about myself being a teacher, I feel happy that I got the oppurtunity to teach them.


When I started this blog, I wanted to comment on and discuss issues related to childhood. But today I somehow feel that I should deviate from that a little bit and write about some thing that is pricking me. It is more concerned with adults or the so called “grown ups’. But no ! I think this is relevant for this blog as this issue also stems from or is concerned with proper parenting. And all the more when as a parent you are responsible to make or mar ninety percent of your child’s life whether he is a child, a boy, a teenager, a professional, a husband, a wife or a father or a mother. If the foundation itself is faulty what right we have to lament about his or her attitude, ideas and ideologies?

As parents we are all trying to “magnificently prepare” our children, prepare them, to settle them down in life with a safe career and a comfortable family. But in truth aren’t they “magnificently  unprepared” to meet the challenges of life?  I sometimes feel that we have incredibly failed to create a world, a world, where our children can live in peace and happiness. We try to make great experts or professionals of them, but fail to nurture their emotional or psychological side, with the result that he/ she spend the rest of their life not knowing how to deal with their own frustrations, fears, desires, hurts, boredom, freedom, aggression and suffering.

For instance, we want our child to be happily settled with a family. Do you know it is a tremendous task for us, as parents to prepare our children for a happy and peaceful life. The main hindrance to their happiness is our own personal ideas, our own upbringing and our own possessiveness that our child is only our child, no one else. We are not ready to provide anybody else related to them other than ourselves, with any breathing space.

We teach our child to love his parent. You expect our child to love you. Have you ever thought about his extended family relations? Parents are indispensable for a child. But why when they grow up. they are ever ready to forget the fact that it is the same- the parent child relation is the same for every individual? Why can’t they respect and accept the truth and give a space for them in their mind, in their thoughts or atleast in their outward actions- accept this fact where a friend is concerned or his own wife or her own husband.
If not at a very early age, atleast at an age when they are ready to accept and understand, why can’t we try to talk to them about these extended family ties? About why and how they should not put their family on top of the family of their companions, why and how not to put their compassion and affection towards their parents on top of your companions affection or compassion. Why and how if they are not doing it, it would distress, weaken and silently kill their companions? Why and how if they cannot feel the pangs of their companion’s heart, you feel yourself responsible for a faulty upbringing and how and why you are ready to take up the blame. THIS is the basic thought you should breed in your child, if you want your child to happily leading his or her life. emanating the light of love and happiness to those around him, giving space happily to another person. Feel for our companion’s warmth for his or her relations as you feel the warmth for your close relations.
Usually we make the greatest mistake by side-lining this to the least important category in our list. But please observe your child’s development closely and with great attention and use the best opportunity to talk to him, talk to your child at the most appropriate time. We cannot mend the mistakes made by those who brought us up if they had made any and if the have affected us, but we can take a firm decision not to tamper with our child’s attitudes by not talking to him, not making him aware of these simple facts of life. We should keep in our mind that by not sensitising your child to these issues, you are knowingly or unknowingly tampering with the personality of another human being, another family, which, you have absolutely no right to do.”A stitch in time saves nine”  a small self examination by you and a small conversation with your child will save three families- your own family, your child’s family and his companion’s family. Please do not hesitate- it is time !

“No Mama you are wrong”


You hear your child cry. You run to her. You see a tiny wound on her hand. You hold her tightly to your bosom. You feel sad that your child has hurt herself. You give a love filled sweet kiss on her wound and promise that it is going to be alright.

But where will you kiss, to heal the wound you have made in her tiny heart? Are you surprised, perplexed? Don’t think twice. You… only you are responsible for your child’s little disturbances. Because as a parent you are responsible for your child and your child’s emotions.Have you ever tried to understand the pangs of her heart, however small they seem to you? Have you ever tried to wipe out her silent tears, when she hears somebody calling her a darkie, a fatty, a useless thing, a good for nothing, a fighter cock? Do you think these are all trivial things? Think, think from her point of view. Yes, for you and me these are silly simple things. But for your child these are very serious issues which can change the very pattern of her life itself. At this stage her mind is just like a ball of soft clay. You can mould it into any beautiful shape or you can just leave it open to all the atrocoties of life and let it get dried to a lump or a mass with cracks. What is your choice? Yes it is your choice. Bring up a child. is what every parent do. But bringing up a child, retaining all the beauties of her mind, making her cherish each and every single moment of her childhood safely and preciously without any scar, is an oppurtunity that only blessed parents get. It needs real guts to bring up a child, and even more guts to bring her or him up to a beautiful individual. Snatch the opportunity to become a good parent, a good friend and a good guide to youe child at every given chance. Give her or him the freedom to point out that, “ No Mama you are wrong”. Give him/her the strong support from outside to fight and face the world with the strength from within. Give him/her a chance to open up, let the bud bloom in to a flower. Listen patiently to all silly nuances they need to share with you. Remember these so called silly nuances matter a lot to them. As they grow up and as they get ready to leave the safety and warmth of our wings give them a chance to reminicise their life with us, only with those happy moments shared with you. Love them unconditionally; give them a chance to love you unconditionally. For only unconditional love can purify and freshen each single cell in your body and your child’s body making an unconditional bondage between you and your precious treasure.

Walk,Walk, Walk with your Child!


I am a mother of two, a son, eleven years old and a daughter, seven years old. Even when I immensely enjoy being a mother, a parent to my children, now I do realise the hassles involved in parenting. Now I understand that parenting means not just being a parent. It involves being a mother, a father, a guardian, a teacher, a confidante, a guide, a friend, sometimes a child and don’t know what not !

My little girl confronted me with a question yesterday. ” Amma, what does it mean ‘to care’?” Suddenly I realised that as an adult I am so familiar with the term’ to care’, but I have never asked myself this question . I know that I will not be able to give my girl an immediate explanation. I need to think, think about how to start explaining this to her or any child in a way he or she could comprehend. And I know as parents we all will be facing similar situations, sooner or later. And I think as parents it is always better to think together, to learn together and to grow up together, along with our children. We should learn with our children to see things as they are. To see things as they are, may seem to be simple, but trust me that is the most difficult task which needs a lot of de-conditioning and hard labour. Do not let the baggage of our experiences sink in to the child’s mind. This baggage of our experiences has actually created a screen between ourselves and our children, a screen of emotions, a screen of ideas, a screen of instructions, a screen of conventions, a screen of traditions and above all a screen of our adult ego. We are again making it opaque with a whole lot of explanations and theories. Try to unwrap this layer of our preconceived ideas and notions and help the child see that the screen between us and him is quite transparent.

It will help us to empathise with the child’s senses and emotions, once we are able to unload the burden of our emotions. Give them the freedom to ask questions, we will put our heads together and try to find some satisfactory explanations for them. Let’s try to travel with our children, walk, walk, walk and walk with our children in their pace, in their own tumbling manner, in a direction they lead us to, holding their tiny hands tightly, affectionately to let them feel that “Where ever you go, we are there with you, as a shadow and as a shade” and let them feel happy about it, confident about it.

Remember we too are growing up, growing up with our children.



The  triumphant moments of elation for India in the year 2012 is blackened by the shocking, abhorrent incident in the country’s capital city, a country known for its truthful valor, a country known for its humanity, a country known for its respect towards women, a country where Vivekananda, Bhagat singh, Mahatma Gandhi and above all Jhansi Rani were born and shaped. That too in  a city which always boasts about its rich culture and deep rooted tradition. Yes we do understand that everything, everything is a farce. This single incident tears away the mask of dignity that the whole country hides itself in. See the true  India which is made ugly by the manhandling of its own politicians, bureaucrats and above all the crime minded citizens. The truth that each and every female in the country should fear her own shadow overshadows the much sung Mother India concept that Indians value in their minds. It is time for us, Indians to take a decision, either you change this hypocrisy of freedom and safety for women or try to change the concept in to chauvinist India.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Saturday condoled the death of the Delhi gang-rape victim and expressed the hope that the entire political class and civil society will set aside narrow sectional interests and agenda to make India a demonstrably safer place to live in.Describing the 23-year-old gang rape victim who died in Singapore as a “brave daughter of India”, President Pranab Mukherjee on Saturday said all steps to bring the perpetrators of this “ghastly crime” to justice should be taken to ensure that her death will not be in vain.Condoling the death, Vice-President Hamid Ansari said, “I am profoundly saddened at the passing away of the young girl, rightly being referred to as India’s daughter”.Condoling the death of the gang-rape victim, Home Minister Sushilkumar Shinde, on Saturday, pledged to strengthen laws to ensure that such incidents are not repeated.Terming the gang-rape of the 23-year-old girl as a “shameful incident” for her as an administrator, Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit, on Saturday, condoled the death of the victim and said one must ensure that such “ghastly” acts do not happen again.Aren’t they ashamed to condole the death of a budding flower in this country with these senseless, meaningless words and phrases with which they try to show off their crocodile tears without any sense or sensibility. Whom are they trying to protect India from? This is not a first or single incident. Take the example of just this city, New Delhi has been dubbed the “rape capital” of the country, with a rape reported on average every 18 hours, according to police figures. This is just the case of one city. Things are worse in other cities. Will these political leaders who seemingly shed their tears for this girl, be able or will do something strong to safeguard our India and the safety of Indians. I DOUBT, THAT TOO VERY STRONGLY. If that was the case they should have done something years ago. If they are unable to protect this country and its people, they have no right to call themselves our leaders. We will be much better off without them, I am sure.With what mind should we greet each other with A HAPPY NEW YEAR, when we know that its is not and we are in great danger in this country.I don’t feel like celebrating in a country where such heinous crimes go on.DO YOU?